I hear from a lot of “experts” that dogs don’t experience time the way humans do. You can leave your dog for an hour, they say, and to him, it’ll just feel like a second. There’s probably some truth to this. But I think they have it backwards. Here’s how it works.
Every morning, when we’re getting ready to head out, Beagle Man will nod to me and smile. This means, Yes, it’s coming . . . we’re about to do something fun. Just a little bit later, he’ll raise one index finger in the air, and say, “One second” — meaning we’re about to leave in one second. Now I’m pretty sure I know what “one second” means — but maybe I have it wrong. Because after he says “one second,” he’ll realize he hasn’t put my collar on yet. Or my e-collar. (He calls these things my “jewelry.”) And he still needs to sync my e-collar to his transmitter. All this takes awhile. More than “one second,” I’m pretty sure.
Okay — now we’re ready to go. Beagle Man opens the front door . . . but it’s a little cooler outside than he expected. So he lifts that finger again — “one second” — and heads back inside for a hoodie. And a ball cap. This time we’re off — I think. He opens the back door of the Jeep, says “Up, up,up” — so I jump up and in. But then I hear, “Damn!” That lifted finger — “one second” — and he heads back inside for the key to Mom’s car, which is behind the Jeep on the driveway, blocking us in. After he jockeys the cars, and we’re all set for takeoff, I hear, “Shit!” This time it’s the doggie poop bags he’s forgotten. And my leash. Back into the house he goes, offering me his standard, lame excuse: “Sorry, good boy. I’m just an old, slow human.” Ya think?
After just a few more “one seconds,” (last-minute pit stop; search for his phone; locate the package he means to bring to UPS), we’re finally on our way to the dog park. So, yes, I believe it’s true: Dogs really don’t experience time the way humans do. But it’s not because an hour feels like a second. It’s more like “one second” feels like an hour!
Beagle Man always has a lot to say, so I’ll just pipe up in The Duck Dog Speaks whenever I can.
Great! I’ve always believed that dogs, in their own way, are smarter than humans. Thanks Kemba for confirming this once again!
Very true. And I appreciate Kemba’s patience!
My beagle Isaac knows words associated with food! I do catch myself telling him “1 second” while I prepare his meals! He seems to calm down, but if I say “hold on a minute”, it doesn’t mean anything to him.
That’s pretty funny! Knowing beagles, I’m surprised he even calms down a little for the “1 second,” where food is concerned!
Poor Kemba, it’s a dog’s life indeed, counted out in eons as his “Master”, the time waster, does his unorganized everyday routines. But I’m sure Kemba remembers the famous 12 Step saying, “This too, shall pass”, and knows he will get on the road, eventually.