I heard Luz telling Mom the other day she’d read that Duck Tollers are the 25th smartest dog breed. I actually think that’s a low-ball number. The rankings were put together by this researcher named Stanley Coren (photo, below),
and they’re in his book, The Intelligence of Dogs. He surveyed, like, 200 dog-obedience judges for his rankings, but right off the bat I can see he screwed up. He has the Poodle way ahead of Duck Tollers, at #2. But if Poodles are so smart, why do they let themselves get those dumb haircuts? And Labs at #7? Seriously? Now don’t get me wrong: Some of my best friends are Labs. They’re fantastic dogs. But just take a look at their tongue-out, happy-go-lucky, dufus-y faces, and their galump-galump gait. Do they seem even half as smart as me? Let’s go to my resume for a minute: I have a huge vocabulary — food . . . leash . . . ball . . . play . . . Jeep . . . walk . . . beach — and that’s not even scratching the surface. I also speak Spanish: comida, anyone? I’ve developed a whole repertoire of spin-moves to deliver the ball back to Beagle Man without Ruckus stealing it and keeping it. I’m able to multi-task: I can jump all over a stranger for his Frisbee while simultaneously sidestepping Beagle Man, who’s trying to catch and leash me — for 15 minutes! And I write my own blog posts, for crying out loud. (Check out the by-line, above.) Know a lot of Papillons (#8!!) who can do that? To tell you the truth, I’m actually kind of wondering about this Professor Coren character. I mean, he’s been working in Canada for over 40 years. You think maybe by now he’d recognize the smarts of the Provincial Dog of Nova Scotia?
Beagle Man and Ricky always have a lot to say, so I’ll just pipe up in The Duck Dog Speaks whenever I can.
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