Useless?

Beagle Man and I have a joke about Mom.  We call her “Miss Useless.”  Here’s why.  Let’s say I bring a tennis ball to Beagle Man.  Will he throw it?  Of course!  Robby?  Yes.  Greg?  Yes.  Matt?  Yes.  But Mom?  Never.  I’ll drop the ball right in her lap while she’s reading — and she’ll just brush it aside, without even looking at me.

“She’s useless,” Beagle Man will say as he comes over to pick up the ball and throw it for me. What really got to him, though, was last week, when he came downstairs and asked Mom where I was.  She admitted she’d let me outside . . . and then totally forgot to let me back in.  “That’s it!” I heard Beagle Man say.  “I’m re-writing my will, and you’re not getting Kemba.”  Now in fairness to Mom, there’s some backstory.  When Ricky the Beagle passed away, and Beagle Man started talking about getting another dog, Mom made things super, super clear.  “That’ll be your dog,” she said.  “I won’t be getting up with him.  I won’t be walking him.  Nothing.”  And she’s been true to her word.  But something happened.  Last Saturday, Beagle Man went skiing, and Mom said she’d take me on a hike.  Just Mom and me.  I could see Beagle Man was amazed, a.) that Mom actually wanted to go on a hike, voluntarily, and b.) that she wanted to take me.  I was surprised, too . . . and a little nervous.  But we survived!  We did fine!  We had fun!  Maybe she can take care of me, after all . . .

Beagle Man and Ricky always have a lot to say, so I’ll just pipe up in The Duck Dog Speaks whenever I can.