All right, here’s the prize break-down in Matt’s 45-man March Madness pool: First place: $1,250; second place: $600; third place: $300; fourth place: $50; last place: $50 worth of (top-quality) toilet paper. And though Beagle Man won’t come out and
say it, I know what he’s thinking: that he’s gonna win the whole shebang. Just listen to him, so sure about tonight’s games — West Virginia over Gonzaga, Arizona over Xavier — like he really knows something. Right now he’s in second place, so I guess that explains his cockiness — and he was actually in first place for half a day last weekend, from Saturday night through Sunday afternoon. You should have heard him then: He was all but spending the $1,250! Funny thing is, much as he’d like to win the prize money, his real obsession is with Josh Police. “I don’t care what happens, as long as I finish ahead of Josh Police!” I’ve actually heard him say this — more than once. This Josh Police guy dominates Matt’s bracket every year, and Beagle Man hates it. His other priority: beating everyone else in the family. Robby’s closest at the moment, in 9th place. Matt’s in 14th, and Mom is 20th. But what’s up with Greg and Kelly??!! Greg’s in 42nd place, and Kelly’s in 45th — dead last! Toilet paper city for the Kell Dog! Okay . . . looks like the Sweet 16 is about to start in just a few minutes. Beagle Man, let’s hope it doesn’t burst your bubble.
Beagle Man and Ricky always have a lot to say, so I’ll just pipe up in The Duck Dog Speaks whenever I can.
Well, given your high standing and brief first place, I guess Matt’s bracket competition isn’t quite as sharp as Marilyn & Lang’s where you are currently #10 out of 13. Maybe a gentlemanly C?