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We Wuz Robbed!

Posted on by Hank
Dachshund
Better than the beagles? Really?

Cinders, the wire-haired dachshund, wins Best in Group for the hounds at Westminster?  Are you kidding me?  And the two beagles don’t even finish in the money?  Did the judge have her eyes open?  How could she possibly resist that proud, fluffy flag of a tail on Buddy,

Buddy
Buddy, with tail at full mast

the 13-inch beagle from Vista, CA?  Or the jaunty, ear-flopping stride of Corbin, the

Ricky reacts
Ricky reacts to beagle snub at Westminster

15-inch beagle from Albuquerque? As Carol and I watched the two beagle finalists being shunted off to the also-rans area, we felt indignant and devastated — as if one of our sons had just been rejected by his top-choice college.  Ricky, thank God, was spared the pain.  He slept through last night’s entire broadcast.

And let’s not forget about Allie, another member of the beagle

Uno
King Uno, today

contingent who didn’t make it out of the breed judging.  Allie is half sister to Uno, that legendary Best in Show champ of

Allie
Uno's younger half-sister, Allie

Westminster 2008.  Ah, now that was a banner night for beagles!  That was justice being served.  That was an evening we won’t soon forget.

My whole family was glued to the TV in the den as the climactic moment approached.  And when the judge, Dr. J. Donald Jones, did his last once-over of the seven finalists, and said, “May I have the beagle?”, we all jumped off the couch in unison, applauding wildly.

But where was Ricky?  Wouldn’t he have wanted to see a member of his own tribe being coronated?

We called him – but of course he didn’t come.  We looked in all his regular hideouts.  No Ricky.

Finally my wife found him, upstairs in the master bedroom.  The painters, who’d been working on that room earlier in the day, had left behind a styrofoam container from their lunch.  While his beagle brother was being crowned Best in Show at the most prestigious canine event in America, Ricky was feverishly inhaling every last whiff of turkey with Russian.  Wearing, of course, a fresh new coat of white paint he’d picked up from the wet trim on the closet door.



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