As Beagle Man promised at the end of his last post, he drove over to East Hampton Town Justice Court on Friday,
hoping to finally resolve Kemba’s little legal snafu over being off-leash at the beach. No such luck. Instead, he got a 12 noon August 24 court date! And poor Kelly (remember, it’s actually her ticket) will have to be present. Or a lawyer, in her place. A lawyer! For a $100 ticket! Is the Beagle Man gonna continue to fight this thing? You bet your _ _ _ he is! Not that he hasn’t gotten some advice to the contrary. Lucy suggested on his Facebook page that he suck it up and settle: “Hank, Hank, Hank . . . just pay the damned fine and stop being such a drama queen.” But I know that’s not how the B-Man rolls — and I gotta say, I’m right with him on this one. Robby always said I had a lot of heart, and I’d fight this thing to my last breath! And so would a lot of other people. There’s Steve, for instance, who writes: “This is a total outrage! I 
will gladly contribute to Kemba’s defense!” And Sherry: “Free Kemba! Free Kemba! No Justice, No Treats!” Yeah! Right on! Now personally, as you know, I think being on the beach is way overrated — but I know how big a deal this is for Kemba. So my advice to the K-Dawg? Sniff out that beach bum who ratted on you, and make a nice big poop on his or her blanket. Maybe that’s not your style, but it’s sure as hell what I would do.
The Roof Rack Report (#roofrackreport on Twitter, for those who follow me already on @BeagleManHank) used to appear regularly on Mondays. Now it appears once in a blue moon, when Beagle Man deigns to give me some space . . .
Hmmmm. As I see it, Hank–and I have read many, many courtroom novels—the crucial question here is the definition of “control.” Was Kelly controlling Kemba at the time? The burden of proof, I believe, is on the complainant. What evidence does he (assuming it’s a he) offer to prove that Kemba was in fact out of control?
Now, if “control” is used on that signpost as a synonym for “keep on a leash,” that might look like a problem. However, look up the definition of “control.” You will find “supervise”–which Kelly was surely doing. You will NOT find a reference to “keep on a leash.” (Unless you look a lot harder than I did, and I know you’re not one for a lot of re-search.) I suggest you argue that Kelly was indeed controlling–supervising–Kemba. And that using “control” to mean “leash” is not acceptable. If the authorities want people to leash their dogs, they need to say so. Case dismissed!
Hey Ricky, Wanted to let you know that those of us back here really appreciate you checking in every so often…I know I find it personally reassuring. I am also most impressed by how you have continued to take the high road regarding Kemba and BM’s relationship…not a hint of jealousy. Most dogs would have expected a more prolonged period of morning, but not BM’s style…what was it 2 weeks before BM launched his new dog search? Not only did you totally accept the Duck Dog, you have more than embraced the role of his mentor. Let’s hope he heeds your advice, particularly the last bit about exacting revenge on the fussy pot who turned you into to the authorities.