There was this Looney Tunes cartoon when I was little: This old man’s walking down the street, when he comes across a dancing frog in a top hat singing “Hello! Ma Baby.” He can’t believe his eyes! But when he tries to show his discovery to literally anyone else on the planet, the frog just sits there and ribbits. So instead of realizing the fame and dollar signs floating around his head, the man is left to question his own sanity. 
When I hear Beagle Man’s reports of Kemba’s excellent behavior, I think about that man and his frog. Because in front of literally anyone else on the planet, Kemba’s skills seem to evaporate, and he reverts to an extremely adorable pain in the ass.
Let’s see how little Kemba’s performed thus far…with me watching.
RETRIEVING
“Green” Parks (Wilshire Park – Portland, Gonzaga University – Spokane)
I double-checked the definition of “retriever”. Because while Kemba excels at running to get the ball, he isn’t nearly as prolific in bringing it back. (Unfortunately for Kemba, “retrieving” does require a “regaining of possession”. Matt is not charged with a timeout.) And Kemba’s love of water is no joke. At Wilshire, he found the only rain puddle in the park, and taught himself to drop the ball there and then roll around in the mud.
Concrete Parks (Bell St. Dog Park – Seattle)
With no water, mud, or dandelions to distract him, Kemba was better here. He immediately joined a pack of six dogs, all of whom were chasing the same ball. So Kemba could run around and make friends without actually having to be the one who retrieve it. At this point in his career, it’s a good role for him.
Grade: D
ORGANIZED WALKING (Portland)
Saturday morning we signed up for a walking tour of Portland. “The only one in the city that allows dogs!” said the website. “As long as everyone else is comfortable,” said the human. Kemba was doing OK (sort of), until we got to the bizarre, scary Portland Building, when he officially became incorrigible, and he and Beagle Man had to leave.
It didn’t help that tour itself got a D-. After one of the other patrons realized Kemba had Irish Goodbye’d, she told me he’d been “her favorite part of the tour”. So how bad could he have really been?
Grade: Incomplete
UNORGANIZED WALKING (Downtown Seattle)
Seattle walk/run, Part One
Once we arrived, I volunteered to give Kemba some exercise. Because I wanted some too, and wanted to explore a bit. As we started walking, it became clear he wanted to go faster, so we started jogging. And he loved it! Down to Pier 66, over to Olympic Sculpture Park, up the hill to the Space Needle, and then back over to the Hotel 5. A nice, impromptu 1.6 mile run. “I can do this with him every day,” I told Dad proudly. “This could be the new routine!”
“Have at it,” said Beagle Man. “But anytime I declare a new routine, he ruins it the next day.”
Seattle walk/run, Part Two
According to the AAA Seattle handbook, getting to Pike Place Market before 8am is a special time, when the vendors are setting up. So for walk/run Part Two, Kemba and I woke up early to check it out. Seattle is beautiful, quirky, and cool like Portland. But it’s also bigger, which makes it a lot harder to keep clean. And after what was clearly a crazy Saturday night, its streets were filled with paper: Kemba’s walk/running kryptonite. Routine foiled. But hey, how many dogs can say they ate a scone wrapper off the floor of the ORIGINAL STARBUCKS???
Grade: C
CAR RIDING (Portland to Seattle, Seattle to Spokane, Spokane to Idaho)
Kareem had The Sky Hook. Hakeem had The Dream Shake. Ricky had The Car Ride. If car behavior was the only criteria at Westminster, Ricky was every bit the champion his ancestors were. Kemba has Ricky-like moments, too, as long as you’re willing to drop everything, rearrange the backseat, and alter your short-term plan completely when he turns into the deer from Tommy Boy.
Grade: D+ (in Tommy’s honor)
There was one point early on in the Portland tour, when Kemba was flat-out refusing to go in the same direction as everyone else, when Beagle Man felt compelled to give me a disclaimer. Because, you know, surely there was a reason for this behavior.
“When he tugs, you’re supposed to give him a real strong tug in the other direction. But, you know….it’s a new city….there’s just so much going on….he doesn’t know. We’ll start doing it right again when we get back to Connecticut.”
That frog’s gonna dance, dammit. Just sometime when I’m not looking.
Well, Matt, I’m guessing Ricky has a big smug smile on his face up there … something tells me he’ll be weighing in on Kemba’s behavior soon:) But in fairness to the Beagleman, Mrs. B witnessed some excellent puppy behavior in LA — so maybe it’s you??!!
Matt…two excellent and insightful posts, but what’s going on here? Is BM okay? This sudden decision to outsource his blog updates…first to Kemba and now you is causing some concern. I am beginning to think all this playing fetch on the beach and the Great Dog Park Tour 2015 has worn out BM. Just make sure your do most of the driving for the rest of your leg of the trip.