Greetings From Hanksville!

LA/XC-3 DAYS FIVE, SIX, AND SEVEN: GOODLAND, KANSAS; GLENWOOD SPRINGS, COLORADO; BRYCE CANYON, UTAH

Day Five mileage:  430.1

Day Six mileage:  371.1

Day Seven mileage:  420.2

Total LA/XC-3 mileage: 2,587.2

Road music: Sirius cycle; Beagle Man’s 200 Favorites playlist; Dierks Bentley (Home).  [I’ve semi-abandoned my featured-artist-of-the-state concept.  Seemed like a cute idea at the time, but I’d rather listen to what I feel like listening to.  It’s my trip.]

Weather leaving Independence MO Monday morning:  105 steamy degrees; sunny

Weather arriving Bryce Canyon City Wednesday evening:  54 and overcast

Three-day state tally: 4 (Missouri, Kansas, Colorado, Utah)

Gas money to date:  $539.02

Favorite town name:  Yellowcat (Colorado)

Least euphonic town name:  Tonganoxie (eastern Kansas)

Least imaginative town name:  No Name (Colorado)

Attractions we chose not to stop for:  Oz Museum (Kansas), and Prairie Dog Town (“See the largest prairie dog in the world!”); Trail Through Time (Colorado)

Most puzzling signs of the day: We buy ugly houses.com; Eagles on Highway

Remember when I was thinking of Googling all the “Hank’s”diners and “Ricky’s” bar & grills along my route so I could stop at them and take pix — and then decided the whole thing would be a huge pain in the neck?  Well, turns out I didn’t have to bother looking for these places:  Yesterday I passed a whole town named after me — and it happens to be on one of the most scenic stretches of interstate in America!  I mean, I’m really looking forward to Bryce Canyon today, but as far as I’m concerned, they’d be perfectly

justified in calling the entire interstate through Utah, at least from Moab going west, “I-70 National Park.”  Without even getting out of my car — and traveling at speeds up to 90 mph, to boot! (speed limit 75; 90 seems to be the “keeping up with traffic” norm) — I saw enough other-worldly rock structures and lunar landscapes to fill 100 national parks!  Plus, every 10-15 miles or so, you get a VIEW POINT (Grand Canyon-style) that allows you to pull over for some oohing and ahhing and picture-taking.  It made for a spectacular day of driving.  We certainly weren’t in Kansas anymore.  (More about that below.)  And then on 12 East, approaching Bryce:  Red-rock spires, a la Sedona.  We’re supposed to believe these were carved by geological events over billions of years, but I’m not

buying.  You cannot tell me someone didn’t carve them.

Here’s my definition of irony:  Finally was ready for a 9AM departure yesterday . . . and then had to wait an hour-and-a-half for Tequila’s (Mexican restaurant in Glenwood Springs)  to open because that’s where I’d left my Amex card the night before.  Can’t seem to win in the early get-away department.

The day before was a spectacular driving day, too — and even better:  It came as a complete surprise.

I’d planned to have lunch in Denver with Teaneck High School friend Lucy, and then get deep enough into Colorado to be within striking distance of Bryce Canyon.  It was purely a question of mileage; I totally neglected to even look at the map.  So I didn’t even realize that my drive from Denver to Glenwood Springs would be that dream stretch of 70 through the Rockies that serves as the jumping off point to Winter Park and Breckenridge and Copper and Beaver Creek and Vail and Steamboat and Aspen.    Funny to drive by places you only think of flying to.  Like, if you’re in WePo and you say, “Hey, let’s drive to Vail today.”  Vail Pass Summit: 10,662

feet.  Man, the Rockies really kick the Plains’ butt.  A nice little unexpected bonus on what I thought of as purely a “mileage day.”

Now this, as you of course know, is my third time driving across the country and back.  And lots of people have said, “God, that must be so boring, I could never do that” — and I never really understood this, because I find amazing stuff to see everywhere I go.  Now I realize they must be talking about Missouri and Kansas!  O-M-G!  I sort of got boxed into that route because I really wanted to go to St. Louis, and when Robby’s friend Luke at Grinnell told me he’d be out of town, that knocked out my northern detour — so I tore straight through the plains states.  And they are plain!  Wow, needed a lot of coffee with sugar those few days!  One hundred-plus degree heat; flies seemed to be everywhere; continually sweaty.  They talk about the high suicide rates in northern Scandinavia because of the short days and long nights, but I think Kansas could give it a run for its money.  Now I know why Dorothy left Kansas.

RANDOM ROAD NOTES:

•  Abilene, Kansas, home of President Dwight D. Eisenhower.  And the Presidential theme continues . .

•  You know how Carol always makes fun of me for not knowing basic things that are “American”?  Well, on Tuesday I set foot in my first Wendy’s ever.

•  Even though I skipped Grinnell College, Iowa,this time around, I did pass through Grinnell, Kansas — thereby saving the trip from being totally Grinnell-less.

•  One of the scariest things I’ve ever seen (along I-70 in Utah):  I’m going 70, and a large truck coming right at me is going 90.  Except he’s not; he’s being towed by another truck, with the front facing backwards — towards me!  Realizing that was even more of a relief than when that cop went for the other guy a couple of days ago in Ohio.

•  After a quick pit stop yesterday, I needed to lift Ricky back into his seat, so I placed my coffee on the roof.  Except the moon roof was open 🙁

•  About 10 consecutive town signs on one desolate stretch of 70 West in Utah posted: NO TRAVEL SERVICES.  Then I saw a guy with a pickup truck on the side of the road, selling gas from plastic canisters.  Well ain’t that America.

It looks like an absolutely gorgeous morning here on the lip of Bryce Canyon National Park, so bring on those hoodoos!  And next stop after that: the Buffalo Wild Wings in Henderson Nevada for Jets v. Pats.  J-E-T-S!  JETS!  JETS!  JETS!  (I was just kidding about listening to all the Jets games standing with Ricky in front of Ozarkland.)

I PLAN TO POST AS CLOSE TO DAILY AS POSSIBLE WHILE RICKY AND I ARE ON THE ROAD.  BUT YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY:  MAN PLANS, GOD LAUGHS.   OH, AND BTW, YOU CAN ALSO FOLLOW ME ON FACEBOOK AND TWITTER