Case Dismissed!
Let’s hear it for Officer Mike!
Quick review: Officer Mike was the one who gave Kemba/Kelly the off-leash ticket back on July 12. When he and I walked to the sign at the public entrance, he saw that Kemba had every right to be on that beach at that time. He said, “You’re absolutely right. I made a mistake. I can’t rip up the ticket,
but if you go to Town Justice Court, I’ll back you up.”
I figured that and two bucks would get me a ride on the NYC subway.
So yesterday, as Carol and I got ready for our court date, I did what I’d done for Kemba’s birthday party two weeks ago, and what I always do: I over-prepared. I brought with me: 1.) The pink slip from Town Justice with the date and time of my appearance; 2.) Summons #H11504 issued to Kelly M. Smith; 3.) The name of the police officer who issued the summons
4.) A list of the dates of visits I’d already made to the town clerk, police headquarters in Wainscott, and this very courthouse; 5.) The name and phone number of a local favorable witness; 6.) A photocopy of the sign establishing Kemba’s innocence; 7.) A photocopy of Kelly’s license; 8.) Kelly’s written and signed account of the incident, as well as her granting to me power of attorney.
I was prepared to unleash each and every one of these documents, but as soon as I said the officer admitted he’d made a mistake, the prosecutor shuffled through his file and said, “Oh, yeah, Mike called me about this. Your case will be dismissed.”
Just like that?? We could leave???
Not quite, he said. We’d have to wait around for the judge to call our case and make it official.
Judge Steven Tekulsky entered the courtroom at 12:30 sharp. And the first thing he did was make a prissy little speech about how even though this was a beach town, he expected people to show up in proper courtroom attire, and he would count it against us if we didn’t. Proper courtroom attire, he said, meant no T-shirts, shorts, or flip flops. Carol and I looked at each other. I was wearing shorts. She was wearing flip flops. All of a sudden I’m thinking this might not turn out so well . . .
Just before 1:30, Justice Tekulsky called, “Kelly Marie Smith.” The legal team of Herman and Herman had already decided to send Carol up to the bench: She looked more like a Kelly Smith, and she could sort of hide her flip flops, whereas there wasn’t much I could do about my shorts.
“I’m not Ms. Smith, I’m her mother-in-law,” Carol said brightly.
“Well you and your daughter-in-law are free to go. Case dismissed.”
Now it was official. And goddamn, that was a sweet victory for Beagle Man, Esq. I knew I didn’t need those last 2.5 years of law school.
LOOK FOR A NEW BEAGLE MAN POST EVERY THURSDAY. OR PRETTY CLOSE TO THURSDAY. COULD BE WEDNESDAY. OR FRIDAY. LET’S NOT GET TOO OBSESSIVE HERE . . . OH, AND BTW, YOU CAN ALSO FOLLOW ME ON FACEBOOK, TWITTER, AND INSTAGRAM.
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Is it weird that I now feel bad about sassing Officer Mike a bit?? CONGRATS!!!
Yay! Although–really, Hank. Prissy? Shorts and flip flops in the courtroom? I mean, that’s not exactly a muscle shirt and slippers, but even so. You were a tad lucky, you ask me. Still, Kelly and Kemba were completely within their rights. Justice has prevailed!
We are most excited and relieved to learn of Kemba’s freedom and delighted to know that the team of Herman and Herman was able to accomplish this difficult feat. We look forward to more “books” featuring
these characters!
Yeah for Kemba’s freedom! And welcome to the new Duck Dog, from Sweden, not from Nova Scotia! What does that do to the official registered name of “Nova Scotia Duck Tolling Dog?” As the King of Siam says in his song, “it’s a puzzlement.”