I’m not sure whether the brouhaha over the release of my 100 favorite rock and roll songs of all time
triggered this, but lately my son Matt and his girlfriend, Lauren, have been playing their own rankings game — constantly. They’ve been rating everything — from vegetables to exercise workouts to NBA basketball players — whenever they find themselves with a few spare minutes. Typically, the “universe” from which their results are drawn is not huge: The largest sample size they’ve used has been seven; frequently the only people polled are . . . Matt and Lauren.
So far, the categories they’ve chosen to rank have skewed to food. In fact, four of the nine surveys to which I’ve been privy have been food-based: fruit (watermelon was champ), vegetables (a tie between brussel sprouts and corn), appetizers (guacamole and chips), and nuts (pistachios). Now I’m no foodie, but I was still kind of miffed by some of the results. Caprese Salad, dead last among the appetizers? They should have polled me on this one. I can tell you this: If Caprese Salad’s on the menu, I’m ordering it.
I was also baffled to find peanuts in a tie for sixth among the eight varieties of nuts considered. Uh, remember our American pastime? Anyone ever listen to the words to Take Me Out To the Ballgame? Do we sing, “Buy me some pistachios and Crackerjacks?” And cherries — #17 out of 17 fruits in the running. Are you kidding me? The pollsters tried to explain this inexcusable snub with the following footnote: “Please keep in mind this was ranked by boys who weren’t even aware of the existence of key fruit players like kiwi and mango.” Nice try.
The category, of course, that held the most interest for me was “Dog 
breeds.” When I was handed the results I was pleased to see “Beagle” at the top of the list — a result not all that surprising given that four of the seven people polled were Hermans, and the remaining three were weekend guests at the Herman vacation house. On closer inspection, however, I noticed that beagles were not #1 outright, but that they were sharing the top spot with Goldens. Seriously? Only tied for first? Not the run-away winner? I carefully examined the actual ballots. Aha! There’s the problem. One voter had the beagle at #7 among the 11 breeds ranked.
Needless to say, that’s a visitor who won’t be getting a return invite any time soon.
1. Beagle, Golden (tie)
3. Lab
4. English Bulldog
5. French Bulldog
6. Husky
7. German Shepherd
8. Pug
9. Shih-Tzu
10. Poodle
11. Chihuahua
LOOK FOR A NEW BEAGLE MAN POST EVERY FRIDAY. OR PRETTY CLOSE TO FRIDAY. COULD BE THURSDAY. OR SATURDAY. LET’S NOT GET TOO OBSESSIVE HERE . . . 
OH, AND BTW, YOU CAN ALSO FOLLOW ME ON FACEBOOK AND TWITTER
Hank, please share with us the the entire dog ranking list, 1 – 11!
Ah, great minds! Of course I knew it was a serious omission to not include the actual results, but I’m writing out at the beach, and that list is home in CT. As soon as I get my hands on it, I’ll update the post with the rankings. Glad to see you’re reading carefully!
Thanks, Beagle Man!
Hi Beagle Man,
Happy Summer to you, though I know it’s in full swing. I like the dog list, though I’d take a couple out. I also liked reading the Top 100 song list. Very interesting and I thought you did a nice job. Can always tweak that kind of thing but you hit the important tunes.
How about bringing Bruce Stoller-Yewdell into the blog? He’s family – your great nephew, I think. And as a lab, he’s in the pool of third-ranked dogs.
Take care. I enjoy reading this.
Absolutely. Have been meaning to get to Bruce Stoller-Yewdell, that great-looking black lab! Let’s see if Bruce can get me a couple of good pix, and maybe a fun fact or two — and we’ll take it from there!
My Chef and I had a spirited game of “Who’s coming to dinner?” last night. Seems like it fits the ranking trend quite well. Pick four living people who you would choose to have dinner with, if you could include anybody. It’s especially hard if you are somebody who has categorical obsessions like us (music, sports, movies, etc.).
Very good game!