Beagle Man and Kemba: A grown man using a poor little dog as an excuse for his own outdoors/exercise fetish. Why am I not surprised? In my days with the B-Man, he used to drag me out all the time, too — whether I wanted to go or not. Sure, I enjoyed chasing the odd squirrel on a sunny spring morning —I am a hound, after all — or bounding around in
some snout-high snow on a crisp January afternoon. But a long leash-walk in the pouring rain? Or a 3-mile hike in the woods when it’s buggy and 90+ degrees? I’d be like, “Enjoy, B-Man. I’m good on the couch.” Nuh-uh. He’d drag me out like I was a pull toy. So when my time finally comes and the B-Man is looking around for my successor, what does he go for? Of course. An exercise freak. Go on, look up “Duck Toller” on the AKC website. “They have a fanatical drive to work,” it says, “and will retrieve until your arm is ready to fall off . . . If you don’t have time to give this breed at least an
hour of exercise a day, every day, with plenty of swimming and fetching, LOOK ELSEWHERE.” I’m pretty sure this was meant to be a warning. But it didn’t work for Beagle Man. He reads it and thinks: Perfect! Those two go out for-E-V-E-R . . . retrieving, running, hiking, cross-country skiing — you name it. One day last week, they went to the dog park for an endless fetch session in the morning, took a long walk around the ‘hood at lunchtime, then went for a run on Soundview in the late afternoon. Just before dark, I hear B-Man saying to the Missus, “Hey, I think I’m gonna take Kemba down to the beach. He seems a little restless.” Yeah, the dog seems restless. Uh-huh. I’m telling you, these two were made for each other.
The Roof Rack Report used to appear regularly on Mondays. Now it appears once in a blue moon, when Beagle Man deigns to give me some space . . .
Leave a Reply