Don’t let those long skinny legs, ferociously wagging tail (accompanied by ferociously shaking butt), and innocent black eyes fool you: That one-year-old Pickle (before his somewhat sensitive male surgery) was quite the sex fiend. Last summer — when he was just seven months old! — I saw him on the beach with Gwen, the two-year-old Vizsla from
next door, and sweet little Pickle was all over her like white on rice, humping away like a piston. Then, before he could even light a cigarette, he rolled over on his back, displaying his goods, and offered himself up to Grace, the eight-year-old Vizsla from the same next-door household. (He seems to prefer older women.)
Kemba, not wanting to miss out on the action, mounted first Grace, then Gwen, and started humping, too — though not quite with Pickle’s vigor. (After all, he’s eight years old, and has lost a thrust or two.) If Beagle Man hadn’t swooped down and pressed the alarm button for Kemba’s e-collar in order to break things up, there’s no telling how long this orgy might have lasted.
Wait, there’s more to this Tale of Two Horny Dogs: Pickle, at least, is monogamous, always sleeping with Robby and Brianne. Kemba, on the other hand, sleeps around. He used to be with Robby and Brianne, until Pickle came along. Now he’ll find his way into bed with anyone who happens to be a guest at the house. Around 5AM, B-Man will notice Kemba doing the walk of shame back into the master bedroom, wearing a satisfied look on his face — and the same outfit that he wore the night before.
The Roof Rack Report used to appear regularly on Mondays. Now it appears once in a blue moon, when Beagle Man deigns to give me some space . . .
Leave a Reply