Of all the unbendable rules governing weddings and marriage that millennials have inflicted on the world, and themselves, the one that intrigues me most is: get a dog before you get a baby. (Sometimes, before you even get engaged.) The thinking seems to be: Might be a good time to break in that alien feeling of being responsible for another living creature. Good practice for starting a family.
I first became acquainted with this rule via our son Greg and his wife, Kelly. They got engaged, lived together for awhile on the Upper West Side of Manhattan, and rescued their dog, Ruckus, a pitty, during that stretch. Rucky was their baby. He was their sun and their moon. Everything revolved around Rucky. Then Greg and Kelly got married, in June, 2015. Along came Ryan (2017), Henry (2019), and JJ (2021) — and with each successive son, Rucky dropped further and further down the totem pole. Now? It’s pretty much “Ruckus Who?” Word of advice to “starter dogs” tasked with prepping Mom and Dad for parenthood: Bask in the attention while it lasts, because it ain’t gonna last long.
Rob and Charlotte, Robby’s friends whose wedding I officiated, took the dog plunge even earlier in the process than Greg and Kelly: They adopted their black-and-white puppy, Scout (a Jack Russell-Beagle mix, with a little Smooth Fox Terrier thrown in), in July of 2018, got engaged one year later, married a little more than a year after that . . . with the first baby due this September. So, Scouty, be on your toes. I’m just sayin’. (Rob actually has a pretty good idea what’s in store for his pup. He told me: “Will keep you posted on how Scout feels once the baby gets here.”)
Maggie and Phil also adopted their dog before they got engaged. As it happened, Nolan, their
Beagle mix, would go on to play a leading role in the proposal. Here’s how Maggie (daughter of our old friends Jeff and Joan) describes the fiasco: “In December of 2008, Phil had the ring and was set to propose. He asked me to go out to a nice dinner, but then said I needed to come to his house and we would leave from there. That didn’t make sense to me — I wanted him to pick me up if we were going to go on a date! He tried to push back but I was insistent so he abandoned his initial plan of Nolan answering the door sweetly with a ring around his neck and brought him over to my house. As he entered the house with dog in tow, Nolan took off running around the house. Phil was chasing him and yelling so I knew something was up, and started chasing him too! Phil was so worried Nolan was going to head out the doggie door with the ring. We finally caught him and I noticed he had something around his neck hanging on by a pipe cleaner. That’s when I realized it was a ring! I’m not sure Phil ever officially asked me to marry him in all the chaos, but I got the memo.” They were married in 2010, and had their two sons, Bennett and Miles, in 2015 and 2018, respectively. Meanwhile, Nolan, as I observed first-hand on a visit to their home in Virginia this past spring, has more or less become part of the furniture. But he’ll be 16 in October, and seems to prefer things this way.
Liz already had Gigi, a terrier, a few years before she and John (Robby’s roommate at USC all four years) started dating, so I’m not counting that dog for this story. But after getting engaged in October, 2019, and married in July, 2020, they rescued Finn, a super-cute and hyperactive sleek black puppy, over Thanksgiving of that same year. Around their apartment complex in Venice Beach, CA, John and Liz became known simply as “Finn and Gigi’s mom and dad.” Their first human baby is due this October. Stay tuned.
Robby himself, true to form, went the extreme route: puppy before proposal. He and
Brianne moved into an apartment in Battery Park City together last September, and got Pickle, their ridiculously adorable black Lab puppy, this past February. Robby popped the question out in Montauk in May. (She said yes!) Pickle, of course, was featured in the “official” proposal pics. The wedding is set for July of 2023. First baby: TBD.
Carol and I, of course, did things a bit differently. Got married in ’72. (Yes, 1972.) Had Matt in ’81, Greg in ’84, and Robby in ’93. Got our first dog, Ricky the Beagle, in 2003 — 31 years after wedding bells. Then again, nobody’s ever mistaken us for millennials.
YOU CAN ALSO FOLLOW BEAGLE MAN, KEMBA, AND RICKY ON FACEBOOK AND INSTAGRAM.
Dearest Hank. This trajectory was not invented by the millennials. Jack and I were married in August 1972 (you knew that); we got our first dog, Maccabee in December, 1972 (get it: Hannukah/Maccabee). We didn’t have our first child until 7 years later in 1979. My mother said, “I hope you two work out all your neuroses on your dog before you have children.” A Phyllis Friend quote.
Duly noted, and appreciated.
Missing in this very entertaining article is the fact that both you and Carol, especially Carol, wanted nothing to do with dogs until Robby begged you so much for a dog that you finally caved. Then, you both became the most dog-obsessed people EVER! I guess the good news is that old dogs can learn new tricks!
All true. What can I say? 🤷🏻♂️
My man had never had a dog, until he met me. However, due to circumstances, apartment living, first daughter, etc., we didn’t do the dog do for years. Then, yes, daughter number two begged for the beast and the avalanche began, Scottie named “Scooter”, Golden Retriever named “Jasmine,” English Spaniel named “Monty,” and several cats. Right now, we are animal free due again to many uncontrollable events, but I hope an elderly companion who needs a home will find me and I will live long enough for us both to enjoy our “Golden Years.”
Hope so!