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Report Card Time

Posted on by Ricky

rrrHey, Ricky here.  And I gotta say,

Beagle Man’s really left you guys hanging.  First he promises you a report card for Kemba back during the duck dog’s birthday week (“Coming soon” he says — on August 17th!).  Then he goes off on his “Favorite 300 Songs Ever” tangent for four posts.  Seriously, is he the Beagle Man, or The Music Man?  And when he finally finishes up with that, he and the missus go gallivanting around Europe for 10 days!  Yeah, they’re back now — but God knows when he’s planning to get to that report card.  So the good old Rickster is gonna take the bull by the horns . . .

Plays well with others:  A+    This trumps everything with the K-Dawg.  Me?  I was never that big on the dog park in WePo, or making the rounds to visit other pups on the beach in Montauk.  Kemba loves that social stuff!  He’ll race another dog to a tennis ball, win . . . and then drop it for the other dog to bring back!  Or he’ll approach perfect strangers, leave the ball at their feet, and expect them to play.  And they do!  You wouldn’t catch me trying any of that.

Athleticism:  A+    The duck dog is off the charts on this one, too.

plays
Plays well with others

Diving into waves.  Catching a ball in his jaws on a fly, from 40 feet away.  Leaping the high fence around his run — excuse me, my run — from a standing position when he spots a deer he feels like chasing.  Impressive.

House training:  A    Only makes mistakes once in a blue moon.  Me?  Not so much.  I was known to leave a mark here and there.  Anyone remember Kelly’s parents’ house in Delaware?  Or Nick’s dorm in Baltimore?  Or Maggie Mae’s in Austin?

Food obsessiveness:  B+    This guy’s nothing like me when it comes to food.  Sure, he’ll take a look and a sniff at the B-Man’s plate, but then he’ll back off and settle down peacefully under the table.  I, on the other hand, never gave up until every last bite was gone.  And even after that, I jumped into the dishwasher, going for all the gusto.

General training:  B-    Not so stellar here, but this one’s on B-Man, not Kemba.  The B-Man always talks about how I flunked out of two training programs — and that’s true — but with Kemba, Beagle Man flunked with two trainers.  Seriously, duck tollers are super-smart, and super-eager to please.  So who’s to blame when Kemba still jumps up on you to say hi, or when he barks at people when they stop playing with him?  No, this one’s all about the B-Man.  Let’s face it:  Dude’s a softy.

Ability to relax / keep himself occupied:  D-    This is the one area where I really kick the duck dog’s butt.  In the car, when the Beagle Man would drive 500 miles, I’d sleep 500 miles.  Ever watch Kemba?  Starts on the front seat . . . then hops to the back seat . . . then the front seat again . . . and if B-Man leaves the car for a minute, Kemba’s on his seat.  The pup just won’t settle down.  And on the beach?  Forget it.  If the B-Man finally tries to sit down and read, Kemba will nudge the tennis ball closer to him.  And closer.  Then he’ll pick it up and drop it right on Beagle Man’s book.  And when that doesn’t work, he’ll start barking in that high-pitched shriek of his.  Nope, relaxing’s not his strong suit.

Overall comments:  The K-Dawg is one helluva specimen, and, I’m pleased to say, a worthy successor to yours truly. 

The Roof Rack Report (#roofrackreport on Twitter, for those who follow me already on @BeagleManHank) used to appear regularly on Mondays. Now it appears once in a blue moon, when Beagle Man deigns to give me some space . . .



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