Ricky To Ride on Roof Rack?

* * *  COUNTDOWN:  12 DAYS TO LA/XC-2  * * *

Just back late last night from moving Robby into his new digs at USC.  You might ask, why would you fly out to L.A. to help your son move in, fly back on August 24 — and then get ready to drive out to Cali again with your beagle on Sept. 6 — just 12 days later?  And I might answer . . . good question.

That particular enigma aside, I do have a number of pretty significant improvements planned for

LA/XC-2, or Cross-Country Road Trip With Beagle, Part Deux.  (Not sure if I’ve mentioned this before, but there are likely to be four LA/XC installments in all — one for every year of Robby’s tenure at USC.  If he’s somehow clever enough to stretch his stay beyond four years, then there’ll be more . . .)  You might recall that during last year’s trek I spent, oh, maybe four hours a day chasing after Ricky on his kamikaze raids into the cargo space trying to break into his food supply.  That won’t be happening this year.  No sir.  This year I’m strongly considering strapping Ricky and his crate to the roof-rack, Seamus-style.  Although what’s that little voice I keep hearing — hey, could that be Devo??!! — singing, “Seamus Seamus please come back / Your former master is on the attack / If he was honest and told the truth / He’d go to jail for what he did to you / Seamus, why did he make you ride outside?”  [Listen to Devo’s new song, “Don’t Roof Rack Me, Bro! (Seamus Unleashed)]

I’m also introducing “Beagle on Board” — the official logo for LA/XC-2.  You’ll see the actual decal from time to time on the rear windshield of the Acura in my on-the-road photos — assuming the stickum holds up west of Paterson, NJ.

These, however, are not the only upgrades for the 2012 Edition.  Last year I endured the seatbelt cutting into my shoulder and chest for 7,643 miles.  At one point in my travels, my friend Sally commented on this very blog:  “You mean you brought all that dog paraphernalia and you didn’t buy yourself one of those soft wrappy things to put around your seatbelt?”  Uh, no Sally, I didn’t.  But you can bet your sweet bippy I did for this time.

Other improvements:

Last year: Cluttered the way-back with three humongous canisters of water, heavy-duty army blankets, industrial-strength flashlights, and all manner of emergency paraphernalia.

This year: Will carry a Triple-A card.

Last year: Brought enough clothes for a fresh new outfit every day, but could never get my hands on the item I was looking for, and wound up wearing pretty much the same stuff the whole trip.  Finally realized none of this mattered, since, besides Ricky, no one would ever see me on consecutive days.

This year: Will pack light.

Last year: For lunch — if I stopped for lunch at all — I gobbled a McDonald’s cheeseburger at a truck stop, standing behind the Acura, while simultaneously feeding Ricky his pills.

This year: Will bring a folding camp table, a folding camp chair, a cooler filled with crackers, cheese, fruit, and beverages, and will enjoy lunch in grassy fields filled with daffodils.

Last year: When I needed a caffeine jolt to tide me over for a few hundred more miles, and I’d pull into a rest area with vending machines, and they offered no lids for the coffee cups, I’d be up the creek — and livid.

This year: I already have my stainless steel Jack’s Stir Brew to-go cup poised and ready for action in the console.  I won’t be fooled again!

Yup, gonna be running a much tighter ship this time around.  Ricky and I may be old dogs, but we can learn new tricks.

And remember, Ricky:  One wrong move, and it’s the roof rack for you!

WE HAVE A WINNER! Last spring, BEAGLE MAN asked:  Where do Hank and Ricky absolutely need to stop on LA/XC-2? The winner, based on the creativity and comprehensiveness of his entry, is Steve Hamilton of Philadelphia.  Steve suggested visits to Fallingwater, the house designed by Frank Lloyd Wright, in Mill Run, PA; Ice Mountain in North River Mills, West Virginia; the NCAA Hall of Champions in Indianapolis; the Circus World Museum in Baraboo, WI, and Cadillac Ranch in Amarillo, TX, along Route 66.  Congrats, Steve!  Don’t know if I’ll get to any of these, but I like the way you think.  An exact replica of the official Beagle on Board decal is heading your way!

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